Monday, February 15, 2016

Reducing the Stress of Moving

They say the 3 biggest stress items in life are Death, Divorce and Moving.  They all involve loss and with that goes a season of emotions.    Moving is an emotional experience, so it is OK to feel grief and stress.

Everyone moves at some point in their least we hope that kid will move out of the basement someday.  The reasons for a move can vary:
Growing family

There are a lot of resources to help with the external aspects of moving - Realtors, movers, lenders, etc.   Far less resources for the internal issues which can impact the entire family.

Here are some highlights from five suggested steps for moving from Maripat Abbot, the author of "We're Moving Where???"

1.  Getting Ready
Create a list of intentions for the move (beyond calling the utility companies)
Write down all the fears
Try to come up with scenarios in order to be prepared for the unexpected (which always happens with moving)
You are attempting to cultivate a relationship with the unknown to that you can manage the move from a place of trust rather than fear.

2.  Effective Communication
Voice your needs for help.  Identify friends, family and co-workers who have empathy about moving and will help you process emotions. Verbalize the anger, fear, doubt or sadness.  Difficult circumstances can lead to unexpected blessings.  Let someone be a blessing to you.
If the family is moving in stages - set up definite times for texting, calling or face time to keep that sense of connection.

3.  Process the Grief
Recognize the positive and negative emotions during the transition without judgement.
Climate change? Schools? Friends? Family? Jobs? Cost of living?
Having closure with friends, colleagues and family before leaving can be very cathartic.
One person suggested a ritual of releasing and blessing the home they were leaving by walking through the house and speaking out loud about the good memories in each room.

4. Take Care of Yourself
Maintain or increase your personal time during the transition.
It's like the safety instructions on the airplane.  Put the air mask on yourself first, then take care of your kids.  If you are not in a good place, you can not be of help to the rest of the family.
This is most important for moms who are use to sacrificing for their kids.
This means eating right, exercise, rest and fun.

5.  Stay in the Present
When moving you can be so focused on where you are going, you hurt yourself, miss emotional signs from your kids or forget an important detail.
Stay mindful of where you are, be fully present.  Don't think past that next box.  Projecting into the future or lingering over the past will not serve your current situation.
You may have to keep circling yourself back, over and over and over.

#relocation #moving #stress #realestate

No comments:

Post a Comment